Socializing : Making small talk and developing a conversation
Small talk topics are the best source of conversation between people who don't know each other well. If you live with social anxiety disorder (SAD), making small talk can be anxiety-provoking. Learning to make small talk can help to build your confidence so that you can start conversations, make connections, and develop your social skills.
One good way to alleviate anxiety is to prepare for the types of topics that are likely to come up. Making small talk involves not only knowing what to say, but also what is best kept private. At the same time, it's important to overcome your urge to avoid it altogether. Rather than being scared of small talk, make a point of overcoming your fear of it.
One good way to alleviate anxiety is to prepare for the types of topics that are likely to come up. Making small talk involves not only knowing what to say, but also what is best kept private. At the same time, it's important to overcome your urge to avoid it altogether. Rather than being scared of small talk, make a point of overcoming your fear of it.
1. Best: Weather
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Although talking about the weather may seem mundane, it is a good neutral topic that everyone can discuss. Did a big storm just blow through? Are you in the middle of a heatwave? Look no further than outside your door for some good conversation openers.
Below are some ideas of conversation starters you can use:
"Lovely day, don't you think?"
"Looks like rain is in the forecast."
"Did you order this beautiful weather?"
Practice making small talk about the weather by asking someone one of these questions the next time you find yourself in the middle of an awkward silence.
Cultura/Frank van Delft/Riser/Getty Images
Although talking about the weather may seem mundane, it is a good neutral topic that everyone can discuss. Did a big storm just blow through? Are you in the middle of a heatwave? Look no further than outside your door for some good conversation openers.
Below are some ideas of conversation starters you can use:
"Lovely day, don't you think?"
"Looks like rain is in the forecast."
"Did you order this beautiful weather?"
Practice making small talk about the weather by asking someone one of these questions the next time you find yourself in the middle of an awkward silence.
2. Best: Arts and Entertainment
Heath Korvola/Getty Images
Heath Korvola/Getty Images
Arts and entertainment topics that are good conversation starters include:
- movies and television shows
- popular restaurants
- popular music
- books
To prepare for these topics, brush up on what is popular and always be in the middle of reading a good book. Try asking someone, "Have you seen any good movies lately?" You might have to ask 10 people before you get someone interested in talking to you—that's okay. Be okay with rejection, or actually seek it out. It's all just practice, after all.
3. Best: Sports
Mark Stahl/Getty Images
Mark Stahl/Getty Images
Sports topics that you can discuss with others include:
- favorite teams
- sporting events
- tournaments
- bowl games
Keep track of what sports are played during which seasons, such as football, soccer, hockey, and golf, so that you are on top of the current action. For example, when the Olympics are taking place, everyone is sure to be buzzing about them. If you don't like sports, talk about why you don't like them.
Ask someone, "Did you catch that golf tournament on the weekend?" While this might feel uncomfortable the first few times you do it, eventually, it will feel more natural to you.
4. Best: News
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A great way to prepare for small talk is to read the news every day. Be aware of what is going on in the world and in your city. While paper newspapers are going out of style, digital news either directly from news sources or fed through social media have become popular ways of keeping current.
Below are some ideas of conversation openers:
- Did you hear about the new hotel they are building downtown
- What do you think about the teachers going on strike?
- I read that they are going to hike up transit fares, did you hear that?
Remember that small talk is about building a bridge between you and another person. It doesn't matter so much what you talk about, but rather that you start talking.
5. Best: Family
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People are likely to ask you about your family. Conversation openers about family may include the following:
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"How long have you been married?"
"Do you have any children?"
"How long have you been married?"
"Do you have any children?"
Be prepared for these types of questions and reciprocate by asking others about their families. Engaging in this type of small talk displays your communication skills, and helps you to learn a lot about a person in a short period of time.
6. Best: Work
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Another popular small talk topic is work. You may be asked what you do and whether you like your job. If you do something unusual that is hard to explain, consider keeping business cards in your wallet. This works particularly well if your company or job has a website that people can visit.
Some ideas for work-related small talk include the following:
"How long have you worked as a (insert job title)?"
"Do you like your job?"
"That is an interesting line of work, how did you get into it?"
Always focus on what you'd like to learn about others and things you enjoy talking about. This will make the process of small talk feel more like fun than work.
Another popular small talk topic is work. You may be asked what you do and whether you like your job. If you do something unusual that is hard to explain, consider keeping business cards in your wallet. This works particularly well if your company or job has a website that people can visit.
Some ideas for work-related small talk include the following:
"How long have you worked as a (insert job title)?"
"Do you like your job?"
"That is an interesting line of work, how did you get into it?"
Always focus on what you'd like to learn about others and things you enjoy talking about. This will make the process of small talk feel more like fun than work.
7. Best: Travel
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People like to hear about vacations. If you travel, be ready to answer questions and give your opinions about the places you have visited. Put together albums that you can show people who visit your home.
Ask others about their favorite travel spots and what they recommend. Most people like to help and will be happy to share their experiences.
As an extra tip, if you are trying to break into a group conversation, always establish eye contact, smile, and introduce yourself first. Then listen and remember the names of the other people in the group.
How can you remember people's names? Focus, repeat the name, think of someone you know with that name, use the name in conversation, and say it again when leaving a conversation.
8. Best: Celebrity Gossip
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It isn't necessary to follow celebrity gossip to make small talk. However, it is a good idea to know a little bit about some of the most popular celebrities in case the topic comes up.
Save this type of small talk for informal gatherings or casual parties. Unless everyone else at your work conference is discussing a celebrity, it's best to lead with something else.
9. Best: Hobbies
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People like to talk about their hobbies and are likely to be interested in yours. If you don't have any hobbies, consider trying something new. Not only will you have something to talk about, but having a hobby will give you a chance to meet others with similar interests.
Be sure to ask follow-up questions as you listen about someone's hobbies. Listen between the lines as well. If someone says, "That was the last time I ever went skiing," ask why.
People like to talk about their hobbies and are likely to be interested in yours. If you don't have any hobbies, consider trying something new. Not only will you have something to talk about, but having a hobby will give you a chance to meet others with similar interests.
Be sure to ask follow-up questions as you listen about someone's hobbies. Listen between the lines as well. If someone says, "That was the last time I ever went skiing," ask why.
10. Best: Hometown
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You might be asked about your hometown. For example:
"How is where you grew up different from where you live now?"
"Why did you leave?"
Ask others about their hometowns as well. You never know who might be from the same place as you and how you might begin forming a connection. Expect that others will ask you about yours as well, and have an interesting anecdote or story read to tell.
Source : https://www.verywellmind.com/small-talk-topics-3024421
"How is where you grew up different from where you live now?"
"Why did you leave?"
Ask others about their hometowns as well. You never know who might be from the same place as you and how you might begin forming a connection. Expect that others will ask you about yours as well, and have an interesting anecdote or story read to tell.
Source : https://www.verywellmind.com/small-talk-topics-3024421
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